I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize