tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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