you win again, gameday.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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