Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
