Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
