I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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