beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
