So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I am in a vortex of obligation.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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