We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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