apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
