Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
