the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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