sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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