So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
