Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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