dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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