I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
The air was thick with penises
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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