white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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