WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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