There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I have feelings that need drinking.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize