Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
