first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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