Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
