I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize
