Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
