Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
