I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Randomize
