he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
