i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
