I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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