Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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