She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
