guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
The air was thick with penises
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I had to cum in my sink.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
