CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
