Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
