shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
