people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
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