Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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