for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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