i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Randomize
