I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I want to fling myself into the sun
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize