apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
