I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
