I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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