I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize