Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Is it because I queefed?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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