I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
