dude i'm inner monologue high
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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