yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
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