so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
That accounts for only three of the penises
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
