The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
do nipples grow back?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
