Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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