I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He? As in you personified your dick?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Randomize