Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize