I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
