Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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