Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
