haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
we should paint friendship bongs
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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