Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
