Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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