Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
