Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
