You're my little dorito
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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