I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
