So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
