quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
