You smell like stripper and shame
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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